I must tell you, the day I wrote this blog- as I imply below- I felt so centered and in tune with myself. However; later in the day, I allowed myself to react poorly to my 17-year old daughter’s meltdown she was having. My reaction wasn’t  terrible or even uncalled for, but I allowed myself to get worked up about the situation and for a few hours I couldn’t shake it. I had to add to this blog so I could share my story with you!

Since I have been working on all parts of my self-care, immediately after my poor reaction I knew I could have handled the whole situation better internally, let alone externally; however, regardless of that realization, I wasn’t allowing myself to move on from the situation. Finally, after a few hours, I realized how much I hated feeling how I was feeling… I was unfocused, overwhelmed, and frustrated mentally. It became very eye opening to me that I was letting this two-minute interaction completely control my feelings (I allowed it to control me for about 3 hours).

After all, this is not my first day as a parent, so it became even more frustrating that I was still bothered by it. I found that when I am in this ‘funk’ my coping mechanisms include buying things aka “retail therapy” (as I went grocery shopping at our local Walmart, luckily this time it wasn’t the dangerous online shopping), becoming totally negative, letting things bother me that I would normally pay no attention to, and last, I just felt crappy. 

Finally, I realized I needed to get back with the program and let it go. I decided to give myself some self-care… I went on a walk, listened to a podcast, gave myself some ‘me’ time, and before I knew it I was thinking more clearly, feeling in tune with myself, and felt the calmness that I had been seeking. 

So, what I want you to realize is the practice of self-care, especially mental self-care is a work in progress for everyone, all the time! Once you start really paying attention to YOU, it becomes easier to modify the inner you in order to be the best you that you can be!

Onto the actual blog that I was intending to write!

Do you ever feel jumbled or out of control? Maybe feel as if everything in life is overwhelming?  If so, you likely need to give yourself some self-care. 

Self-Care consists of so much more than just going to the dentist or getting your haircut. It consists of a total body, mind, and soul mindfulness. It’s the practice of taking action to maintain or improve one’s own health, and as we all know, health consists of much more than just the physical aspect.

We get so used to going through the motions of everyday life, almost putting ourselves into survival mode to make it through our days that we neglect to stop and think about how we feel. We don’t check in with ourselves because we get caught up with what’s happening around us. It becomes habitual, which is natural for all of us. Really maintaining a good self-care regimen is a practice that takes a conscious effort. A conscious effort to recognize what care is lacking, what needs done to improve it, and when to focus on improving it.

I recognize when I lack taking care of myself because that’s when the not so great parts of me show up. There have been plenty of times when someone has asked me a question and I get short with them or possibly even, a little, snarky. My response is not that person’s problem, but my own problem. That’s just one example of ways I react when I don’t get the self-care I need. 

Lack of self-care doesn’t just show up in one way, because it’s different for everyone. You may find little things setting you off, or your mind is feeling scattered, you’re tired, emotional, unmotivated- you are simply not being the true you. When we are not being the true versions of ourselves, you will be unable to really live in the present which creates unhappiness and insufficiency in your life. These are all telltale signs that you are lacking self-care somewhere.

Before I started paying attention to other parts of self-care besides the outward/physical parts, I was never truly content or relaxed. When it came right down to it, I felt uptight and flustered, unable to relax- especially mentally, because I was always anxious. Presently, since I’ve been working on me, I really have never felt so complete and in tune with myself… with my whole being.

When you start to feel frazzled or uneasy, take a step back and explore what happened in your day in order to identify what made you feel that way or what the trigger was. When we react to situations it can sometimes become a chain reaction that snowballs. Only you can change the way you react to situations. Believe it or not, if you don’t like ‘your feeling’ you are the only one in the world that can change that feeling. You control you, not situations that happen, not other people.  Self-care affects more than yourself, it affects everyone else in your life too!

I am not saying don’t feel down, don’t feel frazzled, don’t feel overwhelmed, but all in all you need to acknowledge those feelings and move on. Own your feelings. It’s ok to feel anything you want to, but don’t make excuses for your feelings or your reactions. Realize that your brain might just be talking a little louder than the inner you and your brain is taking over your feelings and overriding your actual self.

Our brains are powerful and can convince us of many things that sometimes are not true! I have found that if I let my actual brain do all the feeling and talking, I’m missing out on what my inner self and true self feels or says. That is when I reach a big old dead-end road sign and I get stuck in the not so good things that show up, like being snarky with people for no reason or getting consumed with an argument I had with my daughter. I let my brain do all the dictating and not my actual inner self because I’m not paying attention! 

There are so many ways to increase self-care. I have listed a few things below that I have found to be important in order to fulfill the body, mind, and soul which will allow you to be more conscientious of your overall self. The growth starts with you!

10 tips to increase self-care in order to be the best you:

1. Get more sleep. Your whole self cannot function on empty. Be kind to yourself, go to bed earlier, and take steps to increase your quality of sleep.

2. Be good to your body, eat food that your body wants. Eat food that is going to fuel your body, not food that is just going to defuel it. Everyone has different diets. Take note of your diet and how it makes you feel mentally and physically as it’s all connected.
   
   I, myself, have been trying to abide by a plant-based diet (or as close to it as possible). When I say plant based I always get the question, “what do you eat?”, well there is a LOT! If your bored, check out this podcast, it was one of the game changers for me- https://www.plantstrongpodcast.com/blog/drb-fiber-fueled and also check out the documentary The Game Changers https://youtu.be/ove9b16OeR4…literally, enormously eye opening!!

3. Get some exercise. Exercise is so good for your physical, emotional, and mental state and improves your wellbeing. It’s proven that exercise is a stress reliever and can increase your feel-good endorphins. I’m not implying to go run a 5k, but what I am saying is MOVE. Your body will thank you today and as it ages. 
   
   I understand exercise is not everyone’s thing… be creative. Exercise doesn’t always mean putting on workout clothes and working up a sweat. Go for a short walk, do some out of the box housework that uses different muscles. Get that heart rate up! You will find you have some of the best conversations with yourself and realizations during exercise!
   
   
4. Do something for you! Stop putting yourself on the backburner. Yes, there are a million people that might be counting on you. Put things into perspective and determine if those people that are counting on you could wait an hour or two, or maybe even another day while you give yourself some attention! Maybe it’s buying yourself flowers, maybe it’s watching a movie, maybe it’s getting a massage.

5. Stop feeling guilty! Stop feeling guilty for caring for yourself and wanting to put your own feelings first. It’s ok to do something for you, putting yourself before others. What good are you in your life to take care of others, if you aren’t taking care of yourself? You aren’t, you won’t be able to take care of anyone else because you will be messy and unhappy!
   
   Part of self-care is You doing you! I know you might be thinking, “put others on the backburner? I can’t do that, that would make me selfish!”. News flash, what’s more selfish is depriving yourself and others of the best you. I promise, give yourself some care and you will see all aspects of your life will start to improve.

6. Listen to what you really want. Whether it’s listening to your inner feelings, saying ‘no’ to something, or making the decision YOU want to make instead of what someone else wants. It’s ok if it’s what you want!

7. Realize imperfection is ok. It’s ok to be imperfect, that’s what makes us human and unique. Nothing is perfect, but the imperfections are what makes you, YOU! It’s what makes your personality shine…

8. Stop comparing yourself to other people. When you look at other people you are seeing their lives through your own lens… an outside lens. Things are rarely what they seem. YOU ARE good enough, focus more on yourself and less on others that you think are like you.

9. Take a breath! Seriously, in many situations this technique totally works. Close your eyes inhale deeply through your nose (5 seconds) and then exhale slowly out of your mouth (5 seconds). Do it more than once! You will find that this helps you react better in the moment and helps ground yourself when you’re feeling overwhelmed. This allows you to re-center because it stops your current thought pattern.

10. Get into nature! Whether you are sitting on your deck looking into nature or going on a hike. The fresh air, the outside, the beauties around us typically have a way of calming our minds and bringing us back to being mindful. This is another great place that allows you to just ‘be’.

While there are many many tips and suggestions that can be given for being the best you, all of them start with recognizing the need for growth. People don’t change, but people can improve by growth. Growth can modify how situations are handled and viewed, which determines what kind of life you want to live. Take baby steps… start by looking at what you need to improve.

If this has impacted you in any way or given you any insight to better yourself, please share this on social media. Subscribe to my website! By reaching more people, I can give others insight too!